Finding the perfect gift


Nothing better than receiving fun gifts to lift your spirits when in a dull moment and overdosed with Cancer talk. People who care about you from all over love to send you gifts to cheer you up. Those acquaintances who you haven’t been in touch with in a long time start to reconnect to reach out to you and ask if they can help. Then there are those who are near and dear who want to do absolutely everything for you, to help you and be there for you.

Let’s be honest – most of them get it wrong, they either say the wrong things or do the wrong things or worse – gift you things that are of no use to you, or could even be harmful to you.

It’s a difficult time for you to cook for yourself, so close family sends over food for breakfast, things you used to love to eat. But chances are – you are either not allowed to eat it or your taste buds just don’t permit you to enjoy it anymore!

Then there are those who send you thick blankets – that are now probably terribly itchy for you.

Some send you books on spirituality to heal you! – No comment on how far this helps you.

A lot of people sent flowers for my mom, flowers are an easy carrier of infection and not good to have in close proximity. As beautiful as they may be – keep them out of the house. There is a reason they don't allow flowers inside the hospital. A dohar is a great gift - it's a soft blanket that is easy to wash, very comforting and easy to take to the hospital too!

However – there are tons of things that are useful to you or that you might actually need and don’t have the bandwidth to buy, those that make for such lovely gifts too.

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An interesting read in the NYTimes -

In Nina Riggs’s memoir “The Bright Hour,” she tells of commiserating with a friend who is also dealing with triple negative breast cancer. They imagine starting a business called Damaged Goods, which would sell a line of morbid thank-you cards:

“Thank you for the taco casserole. It worked even better than my stool softeners.”

“Thoughts and prayers are great, but Ativan and pot are better.”

“Thank you for the flowers. I hope they die before I do.”

“All your phone messages about how not knowing exactly what’s going on with me has stressed you out really helped me put things in perspective.”

“Xanax is white, Zofran is blue, steroids make me feel like throttling you.”